-
- Welcome
To internet dating
Internet Dating – It’s
Not For Geeks
by: Sara Blackmore
Six months ago an old school friend
and I were chatting over coffee, putting
the world to rights as women do. She was
bemoaning her lack of success in meeting
the “right sort” of men. I
asked her if she had tried using an
internet dating service, and the look of
horror that spread across her face gave
the instant answer – of course not!
Internet dating, she informed me, was for
the sad, desperate, geeky or freaky.
Sadly this type of response is typical
of people from all walks of life. Why
sadly? Because those who instantly
dismiss such services are missing out on
a great opportunity.
The traditional argument for not using
the internet to meet someone is that it
is not natural. So what is natural? Where
have people traditionally met their
husbands, wives, lovers, and friends?
Statistically, over the past 50 years the
most common place for meeting ones spouse
has been the workplace. This is hardly
surprising given the ever increasing
amounts of time most people are finding
themselves working. Other common meeting
places include bars, nightclubs, and
parties, and some lucky few meet their
lifetime partner early in life at college
or university. However, the workplace
remains number one for long term
relationships.
The reason for this is simple; lasting
long term relationships are usually born
out of robust friendships, and strong
friendships form over time. Spend eight
hours a day five days a week with the
same people and you will get to know them
very well. It is not uncommon in the
modern world to spend more time with your
colleagues than with your family, an
unfortunate but true fact of life.
The increasing amounts of time we as a
society are spending working is leaving
less time to spend in social environments
outside of the office, which means less
opportunity to meet new people. So if you
don’t meet someone at work, where
else is there? Enter the dating agency.
Dating agencies are not a new idea,
they have been around a very long time.
The internet has simply served as a new
medium for bringing people together in a
tried and tested way that agencies have
used for years. However, it offers some
unique advantages for those seeking a
partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost
of running a dating service, and that
means agency dating has been opened up to
a much wider audience. Secondly, it has
broken down geographical barriers in a
way that off-line agencies could never
hope to. This is an important point
because not everyone is looking for their
future husband or wife on their doorstep.
Indeed not everyone is looking for a
future husband or wife; the explosion in
internet dating has made it easier than
ever to find new friends and
correspondents across the globe.
These two points mean that some of the
bigger agency sites now have in excess of
three million members, and literally
thousands of new members joining every
day. With that many people, if you are
serious about finding a partner, lover,
or a friend, then the internet is simply
too big a resource to ignore. And
‘net dating is safe too; there is no
need to exchange real names or even email
addresses until you feel you know someone
well enough. All the services allow you
to block unwanted communication and so
there is no fear of being pestered. Used
sensibly, internet dating can be safer
than almost any other way of meeting
people.
The internet has revolutionised the
way we work, shop, conduct our financial
affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use
it as a medium for meeting new people is
a logical step in our fast changing
world.
After that chat six months ago, I
convinced my friend to post a profile on
a dating site, she didn’t even have
to pay anything to do so unless she
wanted to start sending messages to other
members of the site. Now I never see her
because she is spending all of her time
with her new man. She didn’t find
him in five minutes like some of the
sales pitches would like you to believe,
but then six months ago she didn’t
expect to find him at all.
Internet Dating
About The Author
Sara Blackmoore is a relationship
counselor and regular contributor to The
Dating WebReview. She lives in London,
England with her husband and two
children. The Dating WebReview provides
independent reviews of internet dating
services, as well as insightful articles,
tips, and advice. http://www.dating-webreview.com
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